


Only One Remains

by Tali (aworldinside)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-08-08
Updated: 2004-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aworldinside/pseuds/Tali
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Remus can do is embrace the one distraction he has.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only One Remains

**Author's Note:**

  * For [imochan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/imochan/gifts).



> Written as part of the Remus Remix challenge in 2004.
> 
> Remix of this drabble:
> 
>  
> 
> _They sit on the back porch, and Bill places the small, orange, orb-charm at his feet to ward off the mosquitoes. Remus watches the way the glow lights up the freckled skin on Bill's ankles, on Bill's bare shins; on his wrists, which he's tipped back against the top step, to brace himself._
> 
>  
> 
> _"Christ," says Bill, and /yes/, thinks Remus, /please, just keep speaking/._
> 
>  
> 
> _"Humid, isn't it? Here."_
> 
>  
> 
> _And Bill scoops the orb into both palms, and passes it to Remus. The charm feels marble-cool, but - /best of all, better than everything/, thinks Remus -Bill's fingers are warm in his own._
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to darkeyedwolf for the beta. <3

Remus wasn’t quite sure how he had fallen into this. 

It had started with a couple of smiles across the dinner table and had come to a head when he had – rather uncharacteristically, pushed Bill up against the wall one late night, kissing him like his life depended on it, because perhaps it had. 

Now, they were sitting here, side by side, the warm night air wrapping itself around them, and Remus was watching in admiration how the orange light from the mosquito repelling charm was playing against Bill’s skin. 

It reminded him of the way the light played across Bill’s skin when he lay across their bed, the sun streaming in from the open window showing off the definition of his muscles on his chest. Showing how young he still was. (It was strange how Remus still thought of him as young. Bill was less than four years younger than he was, but to Remus it might have well have been double that.) 

“Christ,” says Bill. “Humid, isn’t it? Here.” 

Remus isn’t quite sure whether Bill means the back porch, or the place in general, though they’ve been here for two weeks now but he definitely knows that he wants Bill to keep speaking. His voice is rich and deep and they way it sounds can sometimes give Remus the most delightful shivers up his spine. (Like when he whispers to him in the night, as his hands reach further and further down…)

Remus shook his head to try and clear the thoughts but they weren’t helped when Bill leant over to pick up the orb charm and pass it to him, his fingers warm as they grazed against Remus’s own. (Like they grazed against his skin when they slept together, slowly drawing Remus further and further into a place where he could forget everything else…)

The charm is cool in his hands. He’s almost tempted to rub it against his skin, hoping that it would cool him down, but Remus already knows it wouldn’t work, because most of him doesn’t want to be cool. Not cool at all. 

He finally answers Bill, “Yes, it is.” His voice is dry as it escapes his lips. 

He pauses, slowly rolling the charm between both of his hands. The light is playing against his skin now, and all he notices is how his scars seem to stand out so much more and he finds himself thinking that he’s glad the moon is behind the house tonight and won’t be shining in through their bedroom window. 

He finds his voice again. “But not unpleasantly so.” 

Bill looks up from where he was studying the night sky and gives Remus a smile that reminds him so much of one he used to know that he nearly drops the charm. (Red hair, not black, red hair, not black.) 

Bill pushes himself up from the step and holds out one of his warm hands to Remus. 

Remus takes it.

They leave the charm on the steps to slowly burn out in the night. 

~~

He wakes up before Bill and watches as he sleeps. His chest rising softly. Peacefully. (You'd never guess what some people had experienced, watching them sleep. Losing brothers, losing fathers … rough childhoods, soul-sucking demons. It had taken a while for Sirius to calm down when he slept, but by the time they had spent a month in the cottage, he was almost sleeping normally, and then came that stupid house, and it fell apart again. ) 

Remus had tried to push the thoughts away but they came anyway. Always like Sirius to barge in when he was very plainly not welcome. Or perhaps, if Remus was honest, secretly welcome, but it wasn’t like he had publicly acknowledged that fact and did the bastard ever knock?

He sighs and pushes himself out of the bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping figure beside him. He grabs his robe from the back of the threadbare chair and wraps it around himself.

Remus returns to the back porch and looks out at the alien landscape that stretches before him. They’d run away. Both of them. As soon it was over they’d both gotten out of England as fast as they could. Harry would have understood. Arthur would have understood. Sirius would have… 

He stops himself right there. He can’t keep going on like this. He can’t. He’d had things to distract him with before. Order work, keeping Harry safe, Bill … but now, now, those first two were gone and only one remains, and if Remus is honest with himself he doesn’t know if it’s enough. Remus had left thinking it would be and now he isn’t quite so sure. 

~~ 

Remus isn’t quite sure how long he stands there before he hears a small polite cough behind him and spins around. Bill is leaning against the doorframe that leads back into the kitchen wearing only his favourite pair of jeans, that same little smile playing across his face. Remus tells his brain to shut up when it tells him who it reminds him of. 

“You disappeared.” Bill’s hair hangs around his shoulders and it’s everywhere. His jeans are clinging to his slender hips and Remus can’t quite shake the thought of what the hell he’s doing with a middle-aged werewolf. 

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be.” Bill pauses for a second and asks directly, “You’re thinking of him aren’t you?” He doesn’t sound jealous. It’s just a statement of fact. 

Remus nods and replies truthfully, “Among other things.” He licks his lips, which are now dry. “I have less to distract me than I did before.” 

“You have me.” 

It’s a simple comment, but one that touches him. 

Remus smiles. “Yes, I know and I was just thinking that.” 

“Good, because I’m not going anywhere, you know.” 

Remus just nods, not really trusting himself to speak. He knows Bill isn’t going anywhere. Bill is a Weasley and Weasleys were nothing if not loyal. He just wishes he could say the same about himself: that he isn’t going anywhere. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts. He likes Bill, he admires Bill and he definitely lusts after Bill (the way those jeans are hanging, dangerously low…) but he doesn’t know if he will ever be able to love Bill, to conquer what he’s lost. He finally gives Bill a verbal answer. “I know you’re not, and I’m grateful for that.” 

Bill stops leaning on the doorframe and takes a couple of steps towards him, taking Remus softly by the shoulders. “You don’t need to be grateful, this isn’t pity.”

Remus ignores the small part of him that doubts that and says softly, “I know.”

“Breakfast?” 

Remus looks straight into Bill’s eyes for the first time in the conversation. He has beautiful eyes. He has beautiful skin. He’s standing there willing to help him through this. Something that he’s put off dealing with for over two years.

He takes a hand and rubs it down Bill's bare chest.“I was thinking of something perhaps a little less … mundane.”

“Oh, so my breakfasts are mundane now?” 

Remus grabs him by the hand and drags him back upstairs. 

~~

As he slowly trails his tongue down Bill’s chest, Remus knows the thoughts won’t go away but all he can do is embrace the distractions he has. Bill is the best Remus could possibly imagine.


End file.
